So let’s talk about how the very people that were singing Ayesha Curry’s praises a few weeks ago and making countless memes telling women to be just like her, have turned on her since she’s been too outspoken for their liking during the Finals. This is a VERY valuable lesson on why women shouldn’t feed into the “respectable” woman vs. hoe dichotomy that society tries to place us in and use to pit us against one another. Even the most “respectable” woman will get treated like a hoe when she steps out of line.
Let me say that again.
Even the Ayesha Currys of this world will get treated like hoes when they step out of line.
That’s because the dichotomy of the “respectable” woman vs. the hoe is extremely subjective and is ultimately a false reality. It’s used to keep women from stopping the mistreatment of other women by convincing them that the women that get labelled as hoes are deserving of mistreatment because they aren’t respectable enough to receive it. It misleads “respectable” woman into thinking their actions, attire, and attitude have earned them the respect that they should have been getting in the first place. What many “respectable” women fail to realize is there’s no woman on the face of this earth that’s immune to being degraded and disrespected. Not one. Not even the ones lauded as being perfect examples of womanhood. And that’s the fallacy of the “respectable” woman/hoe dichotomy. There’s no true safety for any woman in a hyper-masculine, patriarchal society.
Whether you’re a hoe or a housewife.
A prostitute or a virgin.
A stripper or a surgeon.
You are not immune or exempt from degradation. Your choice to cover up will not exonerate you. Your low body count will not protect you. Your ability to cook will not save you.
So here’s the lesson: protect your sisters NO MATTER WHAT. No matter the circumstances. No matter if you think she’s “respectable” enough. No matter if you categorize her as a “respectable” woman or a hoe. Defend her with your all, at all times. When you see men or other women attacking women who aren’t “respectable” enough, for what ever reasons, SHUT IT DOWN! When you see those posts about “How many women still cook?” and “Which one of you women have only slept with one man this year?”, stop. Before you jump on there saying, “I can throw down!” and “I only been with 1 man since I was 16” eager to feel good about meeting someone’s imaginary standards for “respectable” womanhood, take a moment to realize you’re supporting the very misogyny that will one day crush you when you no longer fit those subjective standards.Trust, if it happened to Ayesha, baby girl, it can and will happen to you, too.
*From my Facebook page. Posted 6.19.16*